What Really Caused Voldemort's Downfall
by twilightzoners
Summary: Rumors have been circulating about how Baby Harry led to the downfall of Voldemort. But now, at long last, we have the truth. Very funny. One shot. Please R


_It was a popular rumor that Voldemort killed Lily and James Potter the night of his demise. He came to their house, hidden under stealth and secrecy. There was said to be no stopping him that night. It was also rumored that it was Lily's undying love for her son, Harry, which saved him that dreadful night. However, we have proved all this to be false. After years and years of painstaking research, we have found the truth. It was buried under the rubble that used to be Godric's Hollow. Do you know how hard that was, to look through all of that? I mean, some pieces were so large; we had to hire a truck to come and move it. And those are really expensive, too! We had to get jobs working in McDonalds for some time to try and pay off the debts. I met this guy named Bob who worked at the same McDonalds as me. He had a pet parakeet who could sing in five different languages: German, French, Troll, Spanish, and Canadian. Well, actually, the whole Canadian thing is an entirely different story… but that's not that's not the point. The point is we know the truth. You can ignore this bit of information and go about your lives in a normal fashion, or you can totally uproot everything you have grown to know and obsess about this day and night and day and night… like us! But anyways, on with the story._

It was a dark and stormy night…kind of. Actually, it was quite clear out with many beautiful stars in the sky. But that's not the point. Anyways, nearby in a dilapidated house at the corner of 23rd and 24th street, there were two people, one tall; with a voice so high it would put Mickey Mouse to shame, and another short person who looked like he was quivering with fear.

"Wormtail," said the tall one, "tonight is the night of Harry Potter's demise!" he attempted an evil cackle, which ended by him choking on his own tongue.

"Yes my lord." Wormtail's voice quivered with laughter, which lord Voldemort took to be fear.

Once he had recovered, he went on, "Where was I again? Oh, yes, tonight will be the night of the Potter's demise! You may go now, Wormtail, but give me a copy of that mapquest you printed out." Wormtail handed it over. "Thank you," said the Dark Lord, "you will be greatly rewarded for this." Lord Voldemort stared down at the paper and sighed. "Today of all days, I had to forget my reading glasses!" And with that he left.

TWO HOURS LATER

"Hmmm, turn left at 34th street. Which way is left again? Umm, right is the hand I would write with," he turned slowly to his left. "Okay, now I walk to…wait a minute, why don't I just apparate?" apparatus He stands outside of the potter's home, and checks the directions 1 more time, observing that his hands were like vampire's hands. "And I just went on vacation to Hawaii for a tan!" sigh "Lets just get this over with. I have plans tonight." He walked to the door. He pointed his wand at the lock on the door and muttered "alohomora". Nothing happened. He repeated "alohomora" again, a bit louder this time. Nothing happened. This time he screamed "ALOHA-FREAKIN-MORA!" Nothing happened. Out of frustration, he threw himself at the door, however, apparently, the door had never been locked in the first place, so all this did was to open the door and Voldemort, realizing his situation, screamed like a girl as all of his momentum brought him crashing face first onto the Potter's wooden floor. He lay there for a moment, unmoving. Then he uttered a single word, "ow". He hoisted himself up, all the while, muttering phrases like "I'm good" or "I'm okay". He looked at the swinging door and said "trust the Potters to play a nasty trick like that, those evil kniving …erm ….people. Well, at least no one saw that…" There was a noise coming from behind him. Rolling on the ground in fits of hysterical laughter was a 7 year old boy. "You shall pay for this! Now if only I could remember that memory charm," snarled Voldemort. "O something… obelisk…oboe…obsolete...oh forget it. Go home kid." Muttering curses under his breath, he shut the door and walked into the hall lined with doors. Voldemort noticed a mirror next to the first door. Taped to it was a newspaper clipping. The headline stated

"_Lily and James Potter Die in Car Accident"_

The subheading noted:

"_Baby Boy Harry Potter Left in Care of Sirius Black" _

"What luck," Voldemort sneered, "I know for a fact that Sirius Black is at a party tonight. Wormtail sent the invitation himself. Good thing I totally…mostly…kind of…not really, thought of that all by my self." After walking in and out of numerous empty rooms, he finally figured out that Harry's was on the second floor. He walked towards the end of the hallway and up the staircase. Again, he walked through every room on the floor, until all that remained was the big light blue door painted with little elephants and clowns. Voldemort assumed this was Harry's room. He walked into the room, to find little Harry sleeping peacefully in his crib. He prodded the sleeping baby with his wand and said, "Hey kid wake up. It's time for my monologue." The little boy awoke and immediately began laughing his head off at the strange looking figure standing before him. "That's it," said Voldemort, "you are so dead!" Voldemort cleared his throat and began his "well thought out" speech. "Ahem, I am Lord Volde ...er ...de ...volde ...umm ...hmm ...rrrrrr ...Voldethingy! And tonight, Harry potter, you will meet your... ummm...err... Wait I know this one...god#&+$! I was practicing this in front of my mirror all last night! Erm! Oh screw the speech; I'm going to kill you now! Avada ke...o come on voldy...think think think! ... errrrrmmm avada kethingy!

BOOM!

There was a giant explosion. Voldemort felt a strange, almost light, sensation as his soul left his incinerated body. "What did I do wrong?" Voldemort wondered.

_And that's how Harry Potter became The Boy Who Lived._

**Written By: Hannah and Melissa**

**Disclaimer: We own nothing sigh**

A/N: Thank you very much niteskydarkblue, we are in the process of writing a story along those lines.

For our fans, if we still have any, we thank you for your patience while we write this one!


End file.
